Friday, July 17, 2009

Rockin’ Rollin’ Single Parenting

"I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. He heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. In my distress, I called upon the Lord."—Psalms 18:1-3; 6

Rockin' Rollin' Single Parenting

The first earthquake after my divorce rocked and rolled our tiny HUD apartment. My leg encased in plaster prevented me from walking from the living room to my sons' bedroom.

I yelled, "Come to me," then began crawling towards their bedroom. Looking like drunken sailors, my terrified sons teetered and tottered out of their rooms and into my arms. For days, aftershocks cracked underneath us, startling my sons from a dead sleep, propelling them into my twin bed.

When unseen tectonic plates shifted underneath my marriage, God said, "Come to me." Without the benefit of court-ordered child support, my salary only covered the monthly bills every month and a half. With each new expense, emergency or even basic necessities like school clothes and supplies, my emotions rocked and rolled.

I began to dread the next financial tremor.

Often I prayed, "God, please, could I have just three months of peace without any traumatic surprises?" But month after month, shaky finances and circumstances continued to create emotional upheaval in me.

A few weeks after that massive earthquake, my three-year-old stood outside screaming. I ran down the stairs, picked him up, and held him close. Kyle shrieked, "Ert kwake. Ert kwake." Leaves on a tree trembled from the wind, throwing Kyle into a terror.

I reassured Kyle, "It's okay, Son. Mommy's here. There is no earthquake."

I realized that I was not much different from my traumatized son. Each time bad news shook my world, I trembled, feeling emotionally re-traumatized. God, my rock, my refuge and my deliverer, heard many frequent, adrenalized cries for help.

Today, life's almost boring ebbs and flows differ from those horrible rockin', rollin' days. Now I clearly see how God held me close, comforted me, and provided all our needs.

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