“Then I cried to the LORD in my trouble, and He brought me out of my distresses. He caused the storm to be still, so that the waves of the sea were hushed. Then I was glad because they were quiet, so He guided me to my desired haven.”— Psalm 107:28-30 (NASB)
I don’t do limbo well. Especially unemployment. A few weeks ago my daily To-Do list was organized and full. Then a storm swirled through my life, shelving my To-Do list and obliterating my paycheck.
Each time I find myself unemployed, I panic.
I feel so alone.
This time I decided, “I want to respond differently. I called my church and met with a financial planner, which was somewhat hilarious. What single parent’s bank account really has enough resources to plan ahead?
Each time “What if…” fears creep over the barren landscape of my life and checkbook, I rehearse truth, “God is my provider.” In the desert God provided water, meat, manna, and himself for the Israelites—and they wanted not.
Each time stress and impatience influences me to raise the anxious Golden Calf question, “Where are you? I wish you’d show up sooner than at the LAST minute.”
Then I rehearse truth, “He’s always provided in the past—in his time. I have everything I need for today.”
I started a daily blessing journal to list how God provides every day. On those days circumstances assault my faith, I review my blessings list.
And today I’m struggling.
It amazes me how quickly a panic attack erases all memories of God’s provision. I agreed to do an assignment that would pay the house payment. The person I relied upon failed to come through, propelling me into begging mode, “God, please, please, please help me.”
So I here I sit rehearsing truth, “People are not the source of my salvation, God is. He will provide.” God offers the most security we can find in this world. I just wish I could feel it.
What’s on my To-Do list today?
Pray.
Trust.
Believe.
Dear Jehovah-Jireh, you are my provider. I want my trust in you to be so strong, that stress cannot affect me. As I take a fresh look at my daily blessing list since beginning this journey of faith, thank you for your marvelous provision. Now I’m watching expectantly for you—the source of my salvation. My God will hear me.
.
Posts
Dear Precious Scoti,
ReplyDeleteI found you through your comment on Michael Hyatt's blog. I am deeply touched by your post--as I, too, was struggling with fear this morning, during my daily prayer time. In times such as these, I point myself to Psalm 91: "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
You are in my prayers!!
Grace and peace to you,
Tara