"I will meditate on Your precepts and regard Your ways. I shall delight in Your statutes; I shall not forget Your word. We have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth. Psalm 119:15-16; 1 Thessalonians 2:3-5; 2 Timothy 2:15 (NASB)

Why Do I Study the Bible?

Before my sons were born, my father died suddenly. My first look at him lying in the casket prompted this thought. That is not my dad. My dad is with Jesus.

I felt happy for Dad, then panicked. His brain is gone and so is everything he learned about the Bible!

A soft voice whispered to my heart, "That knowledge has not vanished. It's in your Bible and you can know it for yourself."

While married, I joined a Precept Bible study. The inductive study method provided the tools I needed to know how to explore God's Word for myself. Like Daddy, I now found my greatest passion was to search the pages of the Bible discovering exciting spiritual truths.

I love to study God's Word. It provides wisdom, guidance and inspiration. The more I study, the less I know and the more I want to know God.

People say that the Bible has little application our daily lives, pointing to ritual uncleanness, animal sacrifices, stoning adulterers, not eating shrimp, and Baal and Molech idol worship.

I've seen some use the Bible to debate and prove their pet theologies. I've been disappointed by some who teach God's Word, but don't observe his commandments.

Others use science to disprove the Bible. The Bible is more than an "ology"—the organized study of science.

It is life.

I study Scripture because I want to know what I believe and why. And it's enjoyable.

When betrayed by others, I was desperate for comfort and encouragement. I turned to God's Word.

Scripture answers many questions that I pose to God:

• God, who do you say you are?
  
• God, who do you say I am?
  
• God, what do you say you will do?
  
• God, what do you say I am to do?
  

I was mentored by a famous author who told me, "I read through the Bible every year." More obvious to me was how the Bible went through her. When I asked her advice, it was the opposite of what I'd normally do. When I did what she said, it worked.

I want to know how the reality and truth of the Bible works in my life. When asked then I can share timeless truths to encourage and comfort others.

"I love the LORD, because He hears my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live. The cords of death encompassed me and the terrors of Sheol came upon me; I found distress and sorrow. Then I called upon the name of the LORD: "O LORD, I beseech You, save my life!" Gracious is the LORD and righteous; yes, our God is compassionate. I was brought low, and He saved me." Psalm 116:1-6 (NASB)

The Heart(broken) Beat of Scripture

My husband's unfaithfulness propelled me into single parenthood with a three-year-old son and a nine-month-old son. Terrified and alone, I felt as if I belonged nowhere and to no one.

Abandonment enrolled me in an advanced crash course in life with God. Tsk Tskers brushed off my pain. "Tsk, tsk, God works for good, blah blah blah," disqualifying my feelings, which were normal.

Unable to find understanding, I turned to the heart(broken)beat of scripture. The Psalms expressed everything I felt: rejection, anger, despair, depression, sorrow.

Psalms also comforted me with everything I needed to hear. I am not alone. I belong to God who is my refuge, my fortress, my shield, my defender, my rescuer, my deliverer, and my redeemer.

God, thank you for letting me vent. You heard my cries, offering your strength during the worst days of my life. I rejoice in your compassion and salvation.

Living Hard on the Outside—Soft on the Inside

"Jesus bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. 'Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; Save me and I will be saved, for You are my praise.'" — 1 Peter 2:24; Psalm 147:3; James 5:16; Jeremiah 17:14 (NASB)

Living Hard on the Outside—

Remaining Soft on the Inside

Did you know that the pearl is the only "jewel" not formed from a lifeless rock? Created inside a living organism, a precious, beautiful pearl forms when the oyster's tears repeatedly coat an irritant infiltrating the mollusk's inner core. How ironic that the name "mollusk" comes from a Latin word meaning "soft."

The hard knocks of life turned out to be far more painful and tougher than I expected. Even so, I don't want evil or sin or loneliness or the hassles of life to harden my heart. So how can God form pearls from the hurts embedded in the tender regions of my heart?

In Matthew 13:44–46, Jesus' parable uses the imagery of a pearl, formed within a non-kosher environment, to refer to a treasure hunter. This buyer and seller of valuable pearls gets rid of his entire inventory to obtain one costly über pearl.

How often do I treasure my string of hurts, clinging to them? When the fragile rope binding together life's bitter disappointments breaks, I turn to God to air my frustrations, hurts, stresses, worries, and confess bad attitudes and my hurtful actions. The miracle of his healing balm fills the gaps in my heart left by cavernous wounds.

Just as the oyster's legacy is a pearl, I want the pearls strung on my spiritual necklace to reflect the luster and beauty of the treasure hidden in my heart—God's Word.

Thank you, Elohim, for creating me and pouring out your mercy, grace and healing on my life. How could I live without the precious treasure of your Word? Jehovah-Rapha, my healer, restores the broken places of my heart.

"Show no partiality to princes, nor regard the rich above the poor, for they all are the work of His hands. The LORD raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap, to make them sit with princes."—Job 34:19; Psalm 113:7–8 (NASB)

Is My Heart Hard?

Sometimes I worry, "Is my heart hard?"

Callous layers shield my heart from some religious leaders who claim to know and speak for God.

I took some disabled music lovers to a concert at church. We've been made to feel unwelcome by one leader who fears the unusual physical features of my buddy's disability make the better-looking members uncomfortable. Another worries that my friend's quiet Wookiee noises might break the concentration of the able bodied.

One developmentally-disabled friend does not understand that when he hears praise and worship music that he's supposed to remain quiet. Shhhhhh! Don't disturb those with far more sophistication. His rapt attention, smile, flapping arms, and joyful hoots encourage my heart to leap with joy.

Oh, to worship God with such unbridled freedom.

This particular concert drew attention to a missions project delivering refurbished wheelchairs to the disabled living in other countries where wheelchairs are not affordable. Before the concert began, Joni Earackson Tada spoke via video. She quoted Psalms 117:3: "The LORD raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap, to make them sit with princes."

Her words pierced my heart. My tears relieved some of my worries that I am hardhearted.

Who Deserves Honor?

How does the Hebrew language in Psalms 113:7 describe the "poor"?

Feeble.

Low.

Powerless.

Weak.

Needy.

Society's discrimination of value stands in stark contrast to those God welcomes into his sanctuary and uplifts.

Who deserves honor? Those who honor others—including the feeble, the low, the powerless, the weak, and the needy. Why do some act as if the "poor" are not priceless members of God's family?

Contaminated by the pride of his social stature, superior religious knowledge and great abilities, a religious man noticed an ugly, misshapen person walking towards him. Feeling uncomfortable, the man turned his back.

Undeterred, Mr. Socially Ugly smiled and warmly greeted him.

The religionist's body language communicated, "Wow! Is he ever ugly. I'm so glad I don't look like that. I wonder if his family members are as ugly and misshapen as he is?"

To his surprise, Mr. Socially Ugly said, "I don't know, but I suggest you go to my Maker and tell him: 'How ugly and misshapen is this vessel you have made!' "

The Hebrew language describes a "prince" as:

noble in rank

generous in mind and character

a member of one's own people

I pray that God roots out the ugliness of my heart towards others who make my insides squirm. I want to be generous and willing to love God's creative handiwork.

God, I desire to remain tender to individuals who move your tender compassion. Please help me embrace the "unloveable" and "forgotten" who culture tosses onto the ash heap.

The Most Trusted Man in America

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him."— Psalm 28:7

The Most Trusted Man

in America

Legendary news anchor Walter Cronkite died. Accolades poured from around the world through my TV screen for "the most trusted man in America." Mr. Cronkite helped guide viewers nationwide through the Vietnam War, the civil rights movement, the moon landing, the Watergate scandal, and other momentous news events.

At Cronkite's memorial service, the "60 Minutes" commentator, Andy Rooney said, "Walter was such a good friend."

Cronkite's former executive producer Sanford Socolow said, "He always lived by the wire service adage: 'Get it first, but get it right.' "

Mike Ashford, a longtime friend, said, "I was often asked, 'What he's really like?' And I would always answer, 'He's just the way you hope he is.' "

It makes me wonder why we admire mortal men so much and ignore immortal God. What would happen if our TV screens featured longtime friends of God singing his praises and telling us 24/7 what God is like. Too bad the media fails to "Get it first, but get it right" about my dear friend, the Lord my strength. My heart trusts in Him who guides me through tragedy, scandal and all momentous life events.

"And that's the way it is."

"How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders which You have done, and Your thoughts toward me; There is none to compare with You. If I would declare and speak of them, they would be too numerous to count." Psalms 139:16-17; 40:5. (NASB)

Exit Points

How many times has parenting in the solo-parent fast lane made me want to kick back and take the nearest exit ramp? Probably way too many to count.

One guy wanted me to take his exit. My workload prevented me from even thinking about dating him. I did not have enough time for myself, much less my sons. At first, his invitations tempted me to step away from my grinding responsibilities.

But…he kept calling and insisting in a stalky kind of way, then arguing that I go out with him. (That in itself was a good reason not to spend time with him.) No amount of explaining appeased him.

Every phone call attempted to convince me that going out with him was a good thing for me: "You deserve a break. You need time to yourself. Blah, blah, blah."

I quit taking his calls.

His initial charming allure and offer for a fun break was no different from other tempting exit ramps in life. Exit points offer choices, pleading "Take me. Take me." As a single mom, my sense of priorities directed me to pour my energy, abilities and resources into what was most crucial to my sons' and our survival and my spiritual wellbeing.

I'm so glad that God's pursuit of relationship with me isn't pushy. When I veer off course or snub my heavenly Father's advances, God does not exit in a huff. He faithfully waits. His unconditional love persuades me to connect with him. And he's never too busy or stressed out to meet me where I am.

"For man is born for trouble, As sparks fly upward. 'But as for me, I would seek God, and I would place my cause before God; Who does great and unsearchable things, wonders without number." —Job 5:7–9 (NASB)

The Balance Sheet Analysis Guide

Looking back on all my years of single parenthood, I'm amazed.

I survived.

When I compare income with outflow, nothing adds up. Because "nothing" provided a good descriptor of my income after bills.

I lacked $37 to pay my utilities and requested help.

"Go get another job or two," my pastor advised.

The power company cut off my utilities.

No heat.

No hot food.

No refrigerator to keep food cold.

No warm water to bathe my preschool sons.

Even though I did not have good feelings about that pastor, I felt victorious. I bathed my sons under a swimming pool outdoor shower. I used melted ice cubes to brush teeth. We survived for days, until I received my next paycheck.

Many times, I felt trapped. I worked two or three jobs. Even so, I could not improve my circumstances. The only thing I could change was my inner spiritual state. I pled my causes before God. When man does not listen, care or help, God balances inequity. The Loaves and Fishes Phenomenon stretched my faith, multiplying every penny I earned.